Balefire

Balefire \ˈbāl-ˌfī(-ə)r\Function: noun : an outdoor fire often used as a signal fire

Balefire is the name given to the youth group at my church here in Fayetteville. It symbolizes their desire to be a beacon of light for Christ through their thoughts, words, actions and deeds. One of the many ways God has blessed my life is to allow me the privilege of working with these amazing young men and women. As we're preparing to kick off the new school year and new programming for the youth group, I wanted to take a minute and reflect on this particular journey.

When I was a teenager, I belonged to a huge youth group and we had many youth counselors, most of whom were parents. They were such positive examples for me and I was constantly encouraged by their wisdom and insight. Adolescence was painful for me and I'm sure I was quite a handful at times, but they treated me like I was important. They treasured my uniqueness without making me stand out from the rest - something every teenager wants. It was a very special time for me and I have always been thankful for those who took time away from their families and priorities to spend with me and help me grow in my faith. When I left the youth group and went on to college, I asked God to please grant me the opportunity to be for some other teenager what my youth counselors were to me. My prayer was answered twelve-and-a-half years later when I moved to Fayetteville. I knew this was where I was meant to be and was so excited to jump in with both feet.

That was in January, and what an adventure it has been! They have allowed me into their lives and I am loving every second of this wild and crazy ride I'm taking with them. As we move into the Fall and things start back up again, I am so excited because we are all taking this step together. I am so thankful God has placed me in this position with Balefire. I am thankful for each and every member of this group and for their love for Christ and willingness to grow in their relationships with Him. I pray God will continue to use me and all of my imperfections and that I will trust His wisdom in all that He places before me.

Driving

It occurred to me I've been in North Carolina for eight months now. Wow, time flies. It's kind of scary that I'm beginning to know my way around and not have to depend on maps as much anymore (at least in Fayetteville; the surrounding areas in which I work, not so much); not scary in that it's bad or frightening, it's just something I've never experienced. I grew up in Chattanooga and knew (mostly) how to get where I wanted to go by the time I was old enough to drive. When I moved to Knoxville for college, I had to learn to navigate in a new town but a couple of years of living on (or very near) campus helped because everything I needed was pretty close. I stayed in Knoxville after college and, though I did occasionally get lost, was pretty confident in my knowledge of the city and surrounding areas by the time I moved. Moving to North Carolina brought about an entirely different experience and I've had so much fun (though not always at the time) getting lost and learning to trust my instincts instead of a map.

I moved into a new place this weekend and all of the feelings surrounding my leaving Tennessee came up again.

Actually, this past month I've been thinking a lot about my move to North Carolina and my journey up to this point. As I was driving through the country (one of my FAVORITE aspects of my job!) on the way home from work the other day, I asked myself what I would think if something happened and I needed to go back to Tennessee. To my surprise, I realized I'm not yet ready to leave North Carolina. I like my life here and I'm having fun on this adventure. That's a rather conflicting realization, considering how much I complain about missing my friends and family in Tennessee and that North Carolina is just too flat and my town too boring.

As much as I complain, (I seriously hope I don't complain that much and this is all in my head), I do enjoy living here and I am glad I came. Then why do I complain? Trying to understand this has become very frustrating because I don't want to complain. I don't want to be that person. I'm not that person! Am I?