A friend posed a question that I had difficulty answering with a few lines on a Facebook Comment, so I thought I’d go this route. It’s been a while since I’ve posted anyway, so now I feel like less of a blog slacker. This way I’m killing two birds with one stone, as my mother says.
Ok, I can see how giving up chocolate for Lent seems silly and quite pointless, but not for me. This is the first year I've made an effort to be introspective, and giving up chocolate is part of that effort. I’ve given things up for Lent before, but I never learned anything from it. Some years, I didn’t make it very long before going back on my decision and then I’d just feel bad for a little while and then go on with my life. My relationship with Christ was weak for a long time and my complete lack of spiritual (or physical) discipline showed it. When Lent came around this year, I wanted to do something different.
I decided to give up something I knew I’d face all the time so I’d have a constant reminder of the internal, spiritual work I needed to be doing. I get into routines and seldom make changes without difficulty, so placing myself in situations where I’d have to STOP and think about what I was doing and why actually helped. If you saw my office, you’d understand! Chocolate is literally on everyone’s desk and there’s always a piece within arm’s reach. Working in this field can be very stressful (especially for a newbie like me) and folks in my office use chocolate as a coping skill (I am not kidding!). I did too, until Lent.
Discipline has never been my strongest suit. Lack of discipline? You bet. Impatience? I have plenty of that! Giving up chocolate wasn’t hard, but being forced to constantly think about my commitment to remembering Christ’s sacrifices and temptations has kept my mind on track this Lenten season. I was still lazy and didn’t do all the internal work I’d intended, but I know I will walk away from this experience having learned some things about myself that perhaps I wouldn’t have learned otherwise.
I also gave up biting my fingernails, which was extremely difficult. I do it without even thinking and have done it for so long that it seems like they no longer even grow. Anytime part of a nail began to show, I’d peel it off to where I just had fingertips – no nails. I know, it’s gross, but it’s the truth. I’ve never had an addiction, but that’s what it feels like. As of today, Good Friday, I’ve been able to refrain from doing it, but only by the grace of God!
Having to constantly ask God for the strength to not do something that is so beyond microscopic in all He sees was very humbling. It was a much-needed reminder of my humanity and that I am nothing without His love and grace. So it’s more than just giving up something frivolous, at least for me….
