Blessings - from Him, not me

I am so ashamed to think I was making some grand gesture of faith. God didn't ask much of me at all, and I surely didn't do Him any favors! Is that the most I'm willing to do for my Savior - drop out of school and move to a different state? No!! Jesus chose to be rejected, tortured and die an agonizing death for me. ME. And I'm thinking I made some great sacrifice?!? Absolutely not! This was nothing! How can I ever say something is too much for me to do for my Lord?

Despite the fact that I griped and whined the entire way and have made such a big deal out of everything, God has once again shown me favor. Not only did He introduce me to a wonderful church whose people have welcomed me with open arms and continue to support and encourage me, He has opened the doors to an amazing job that will allow me to not only provide for myself, but also use my skills and experience to bless the lives of those in need. I am so excited about this job and I cannot wait to begin!

I'm not writing this to lift myself up as some great believer or servant of God. On the contrary, I'm writing to say that if you listen to God and follow His lead, even if you don't understand what is going on, He will reward you. It's the faith in the unknown that He wants. It's clinging to Him that He wants. Yes, we are stubborn and fearful, but we must give those feelings to God so that we may focus on Him and not the other things. I don't serve my God because I know I will get a reward. It's not like a job where you work for your boss because he'll pay you. I serve my God because His son, Jesus Christ, who is in Him, saved me from my sins, has never left my side and continues to show me more love and forgiveness than I can even imagine.

I will never be able to fully express my thanks and adoration for what my Lord has done and continues to do for me - as a human, I am flawed and incapable. I figure, the only thing I can do is lay myself before Him as an offering of complete love and devotion and allow Him to transform me into the person He needs me to be in order to carry out His will. This cannot be easy for God as I can be such a dense, stubborn, unfocused, selfish and arrogant brat! Nonetheless, He not only shows me grace but continues to encourage my faithfulness.